Tag Archives: Professors

Congratulations to you; you have found something truly valuable here.  

This article will reveal the most important piece of information that I have ever learned in my entire life. That’s right folks, after graduating from an Ivy League university, from The Wharton Business School, and from Stuyvesant High School, with straight A’s and top 97th percentile scores on EVERY standardized test I’ve ever taken, I’m going to reveal to you the most important thing I ever learned in my entire life.

I learned it from one of the most illustrious professors in the whole entire Ivy League. His name was E. Digby Baltsel, and he revealed this golden nugget in the very last class that he ever taught at the University of Pennsylvania. He retired right after I got done taking his class. And, man, I learned a lot of important stuff from that guy.

To give you a bit of perspective on Digby Baltsel, this was the man who actually coined the term WASP – white Anglo-Saxon protestant.   He created Pop Culture when he coined the term WASP, a key concept in our American society.

Now, the subject of this article is THE most important thing I ever learned, but I also learned something else that I think was really key, so I’m going to give you an extra bonus here. Not just the most important thing that I learned, but an extra bonus that I learned from E. Digby Baltsel. And I learned both of these things in his class.

I was a graduating Senior when I took Digby’s class, “Sociology 10: Social Stratification in America. ” And one of the golden rules of his class was, if you were a graduating Senior and you took his class, you were guaranteed a “Gentleman’s C” as long as you took all of the exams. But more importantly than that, he said, “If you’re a graduating Senior in my class and you get an A in any one of the midterms, then you don’t have to come to class anymore, and you don’t have to take any more tests. ” If you could demonstrate mastery of the material by getting an A on any midterm exam, that was it, you got an A for the class.

So, there I am, Mr. Graduating Senior, Hotshot Wharton Man, taking Digby’s class, and of course I get an A on the first midterm! So, now I’m guaranteed an A for the class, I don’t have to take any more tests, and I don’t even have to show up for any more lectures.

Do you think that I continued to attend the class?

There were plenty of friends of mine who were graduating Seniors, they got that A, and they were gone. What the hell did they need to go to that class for?

But you see, I appreciated the value of what I was getting.

Here I have a living legend teaching my class, and you better believe my ass was in the seat for every single lecture that man gave us.

It didn’t matter how nice it was outside, it didn’t matter that it was Spring and the birds were chirping and the grass was green out on College Lawn. No way. I was in College Hall, listening to every word that Digby Baltsel had to say, because that was the intense kind of student that I was. That’s the way I treated my four-year college education with respect. That’s the amount of respect I had for being a Wharton Business School student.

And I believe it paid off, because if I hadn’t been attending all those lectures that I was already exempted from, I never would have heard the most important thing that I ever learned in any class, or any educational institution that I ever attended. And so, lesson number one from Mr. Digby Baltsel was “Attend the classes!”

Woody Allen put it another way:  “85% of life is just showing up. ”

Even when the teacher says you don’t have to, attend the classes. Because, on the last day of the last class that Digby Baltsel ever taught, I was there instead of out getting a sun tan in the spring sunlight with the rest of the slackers. And, because I was sitting in my seat, I learned the most important thing that I have ever learned from anyone.

He got real somber and serious when he said it. This is a man who was in his 70’s at the time, and he looked it. He was old — wearing a bowtie — one of those old-time Ivy League professors. A wise and brilliant man.

Digby Baltsel said this: “If, by the time you die, you have one true friend, then you have lived a successful life. ”

What do you think about that?

What do you think about the fact that it all comes down to one friend?

Man, it makes me really value the people that I have in my life.

It makes me not take for granted the friends that I have, and that I’ve kept for all of these years. It makes me grateful to have those people in my life.

But more than that, it makes me extremely grateful to have found my wife, my mate, my soul mate, Alison, because I know that she’s so much more than a friend; but for sure she is a true friend.

And it makes me really appreciate the institution of marriage and the idea that there is someone out there for everyone.

I think what Digby was really talking about was this institution of marriage, even though he didn’t say it. Even though he didn’t enumerate it in any way. I understood when I was sitting there, that he was talking about his wife.

I understood that when he said “if you have one true friend by the time you die that you have lived a successful life,” that he was thinking about his wife, and how lucky he was to have her. Because if you can have one true friend, that makes everything worthwhile.

It makes all the difference in the entire world.

Think about the difference between these two scenarios: 1) You’re sitting at an outdoor cafe in Rome, you have a great table with a perfect cappuccino on a gorgeous spring day, birds are chirping, the sunlight is glinting off the water cascading down the sculpted face of a centuries-old public fountain, and you’re all alone. 2) You’re sitting at the same great table at the same phenomenal outdoor cafe, its a beautiful day with the sun shining off the water in the beautiful marble fountain, and you’re sharing it with your one true friend in life – your spouse, your mate, or your soul-mate.

Which of those scenarios would be immeasurably better than the other one?

My father said something to me a number of times, but I didn’t really understand it when he said it.

He said, “I’m your father — who the hell else do you think gives shit about you?” 

I didn’t understand it when he was alive, but now that he’s gone and I’ve gained some perspective, I think I understand what he was really trying to say: Nobody really cares about anyone else.

I’ve got all of these friends — and I honestly do have a blessing of friends, that’s how many friends I have; I am blessed — but when it all comes down to it, the only one that REALLY REALLY cares about me is my one true friend, which is my wife.

If I were to die tomorrow, all my friends would be sad – maybe even for more than a couple of days! But pretty soon they would just get back to their normal everyday lives, and life would just go on as normal for them.   Maybe they would miss me from time to time, or talk about me, remember me, perhaps even tell stories about me – but for the most part, nothing would change for them. And the same goes for me. If any of my friends were to disappear, my life would pretty much continue unchanged.

But with my wife it’s completely different. Having her in my life makes all the difference in the world. It makes every single dinner that I share with her a special occasion. It makes every trip that I take with her, traveling the world, something special that we shared. Everything that I do with her is a special moment that I share with somebody who truly cares about me. Someone who truly cares about our time together.

It makes all the difference in the world.

So now comes the hard part.   Ask yourself these questions:

1) Who do you care about?

2) Who really cares about you?

Let  them know.

Make them feel appreciated.

Be grateful for what you have, and for the people in your life.

It’s a big lonely world out there.

And it’s completely empty if there’s nobody to share it with.